It’s funny how life can leave you sleeping. Then suddenly some turn of events or person awakens you. All of a sudden you are in tune to everything around you. Every truth and every lie you can remember being told to you sticks to your gut like bad food that won’t settle. As I sit in my seat on this flight I think about these things. These lies and these truths. I mean what does it all really mean anyway. Do I even care anymore who lies to me?
“Another rum and coke please” the flight attendant is so damned happy to get me another. I would be happy too if my job was to fly all over the world in a tight little skirt and look pretty. Ugh. Her perfection is making me want to gag and befriend her at the very same time. “Thanks”. Instantaneously her eyes brighten up as she finally recognizes who I am. “You…you’re….you are Estelle Black!” “The incomparable” I reply with sarcasm and a fake smile. I bet she is now wondering why I’m not in first class.
Ever since I moved to D.C. I have not had any inspiration to write. My last essay on the riots in Baltimore caused nothing short of a “glad to see you’re down for the cause, as you should be, being black and all”…type responses. It’s disgusting what people consider art and worthy these days. Maybe I’ll post a picture of my naked ass on IG next week and then they’ll want to read my shit. This writer’s block shit is unbelievable.
I bet I would be inspired if I got some dick maybe..good dick. Nothing mediocre. But I don’t have time for the bull crap that comes along with it…”oh yeah by the way, I’m married….oh yeah I’m jobless ….oh damn were you looking for a relationship”…niggas kill me. Tell the truth and let me make my own decision as to if I still want to bone or not. They always have to be in control. You niggas didn’t control shit when they chained us threw us in boats and took our whole state of humanity from us. That’s why black men hate black women now. They hate themselves. Our “attitudes” need to shift. Ha! Maybe if our dominant covering would cover us we would have more to laugh about. The shit is fucked up for real.
“Good evening passengers. Please stay seated with your seatbelts on as we prepare for landing. The temperature in Miami is a cool 87 degrees tonight. Thank you for flying Coast Airlines and enjoy your stay”
I grab my carry-on from the overhead compartment and make a swift exit before the happy flight attendant decides to ask for a selfie. Clean getaway. Or so I think.
Miami is so beautiful and full of adventure. I have to find some inspiration here… yes gorgeous Miami.